This blog is about steps you can take to save your marriage.
If your marriage is on the brink of failing you may be asking the question “How can I save my marriage?”
The answer, or significant part thereof, may well be in the past! Cast your mind back to the time you first met, what attracted you to her? More importantly what attracted her to you? Remember the things you did together when you were first married or first dating. Are you still doing those things today? If you’re trying to figure out, “How to save my marriage?” then chances are you’re not.
There are many reasons why marriages fail… You may have started to take your wife for granted; or you may have started treating her with disdain; then there are affairs, lies, boredom, changes people go through that make them more or less appealing to each other, children, jobs . . . . All these things factor into a marriage and help determine whether it’s healthy or whether you’ll end up asking, “How can I save my marriage?”
If there have been affairs or serious betrayals and lies, then probably the best thing you can do if you want to save the marriage it to go to counselling. This isn’t one of the secret techniques, but it’s probably the only one that can really help once things like that have gone on.
Through marriage counselling, you may be able to get at the heart of why there was cheating, and find ways to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Counselling may also lead you to painful decisions where you (or she) realize that you/she don’t want to remain in a marriage where you may not be able to trust your spouse again (or yourself, if you’re the one who cheated).
The good thing about marriage counselling is that it unearths some of the frustrations and wrongs (perceived or otherwise) perpetrated in the past. Once the painful things come out it’s like a wound that’s been cleaned out – the healing can then begin.
The secret techniques aren’t really secret either, but they might as well be because few people every try them and instead do the exact opposite.
The first thing you can do when you find yourself asking, “How can I save my marriage?” is to simply leave your spouse alone. Enjoy some time without your partner. It doesn’t have to be for very long. Just a few days will do. The purpose is to give both a little breathing space.
Spending some time apart may be all that is required if the marriage is actually suffering because you and your spouse spend too much time together. In such a case, some time apart can be a very good thing.
On the other hand -- if the problem with the marriage is that you spend too much time apart, then you can make a difference in your marriage by taking the initiative and schedule a weekend getaway for you both. If that’s too expensive, plan an outing for a day. Or plan three hours of dinner and a movie where it’s just the two of you, on a private and surprise date.
You’d be surprised how these two techniques, when used at the appropriate times, can feel so good they’ll take you from asking, “How can I save my marriage?” to wondering why you hadn’t been doing these things for several years.
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